Here Without You
by poseysharman
Summary: Toby takes Spencer to meet his mother. Spoby.


**A/N:** Something short and sweet. I've recently lost someone who meant a lot to me, so writing this was definitely difficult , but comforting. Either way, I hope you guys enjoy. It's short in length, mostly due to how hard it was to write this, but hey, it still exists, right?

Also, I guess this is semi canon, but not really. You can take this as either Toby's secretly A who still loves Spencer nonetheless, or he's just not on the A team at all!

* * *

**Here Without You**

"I want you to meet my mother."

At the sound of Toby's voice, Spencer picked her head up from the book it was buried in to look at her boyfriend, moving from the red chair he sat in to stand at the edge of her bed Spencer laid on. He looked down at her, his hands in his pocket, but his face sure.

Spencer furrowed her eyebrows. "You want me to meet your mother?" Spencer repeated, unsure if she heard him correctly the first time. Toby nods, his lips curing upward slightly to form a small, soft, smile. Spencer moved to a sitting position, and Toby took the opportunity to move to sit down beside her. "Toby," she started softly. "Your mom's…"

To Spencer's surprise, Toby let out a quiet laugh. "Dead?" he finished for her as Spencer nodded. "I know. But I want you to meet her." Toby reached out, taking a hold of Spencer's hand gently. "I want to show you her grave; properly introduce you guys," he finished, looking at Spencer with sincere and loving eyes.

"Properly introduce us?" Spencer questioned.

"I've talked to my mom about you," admitted Toby. "It's my way of praying to her," he explained to her. "Talking to her, keeping her memory alive, and more often than not, you come up."

"So you decided it was high time for us to meet?" Spencer asked, smiling.

Toby nodded, grinning. "So what do you say? You up for coming with me Sunday?"

Spencer smiled at him. She knew Toby visited his mother's grave every Sunday afternoon. It was a routine for him, something that helped him cope with his lost, but Spencer never went with him. She never wanted to impose. "I'd love you," she replied softly, touched by his invitation. She reached up to cup his face, placing a soft kiss on his lips before pulling him in for a hug. Toby buried his face into the base of her neck, as a sense of love and happiness washed over them.

* * *

Sunday rolled around a few days later, and Toby picked Spencer up at noon. She was happy to be with him, happy to see and understand more about Toby and his life outside of her, but it didn't change the sudden nervousness she felt as she got into his truck. Somehow, meeting his mother was far more never racking than she ever thought.

They headed to a flower shop in Rosewood-a small one, nothing too fancy, but one full of fresh and beautiful flowers nonetheless-before making their way to Mrs. Cavanaugh's grave site.

"Yellow lilies," Toby explained when they picked up a small bouquet of yellow flowers. "They're my mom's favorite flower. I like to bring fresh ones to her grave every week."

A genuine smile spread across Spencer's lips, touched by Toby's seemingly endless amount of love. "They're beautiful."

"Just like she was," Toby murmured softly to himself, his eyes admiring the flowers in his hands.

* * *

They walked through the graveyard towards Toby's mother's grave in hand as Toby lead Spencer down the path he knew my heart. It was a short walk before Toby stopped in front of a grey gravestone. It was labeled Mary Cavanaugh along with the dates of her birth and death. _Sister, mother, wife. Always in our hearts_, was engraved under the dates. There were yellow lilies, turning brown and dying, most likely left by Toby last weekend, in front of it.

"Toby…" started Spencer as she stared at the grave. "I've…I've never done this before," she finally admitted. "I've never…_talked_…to anyone like this."

Toby gave Spencer's hand a small squeeze. "Don't be nervous," he assured her. "I know it sounds strange, but talking to a loved one that's passed…it helps. It reminds you that they're gone, but they're always with you in spirit."

"My family-we're not the type to do this. We don't deal with death like normal people," she weakly explained to him.

"That doesn't mean you can't try," he told her, and after a moment, Spencer nodded. Giving her hand another squeeze, Toby began. "Spencer," he said, smiling slightly. "this is my mother. Mom, this is Spencer."

"Please to meet you," Spencer said softly.

"I've kinda already told her a lot about you," said Toby meekly.

"Oh yeah? Like what?"

"Well," Toby started, thinking for a moment. "I told her about the night in the motel; how I kicked you butt in scrabbled." Spencer rolled her eyes, but smiled, pushing him slightly. "And about our first kiss that followed it, and how I've been crazy about you since that day. I told her about the day I realized I loved you, and the day I first told you." Toby stopped, looking over at Spencer to give her a smile as they both paused for a moment, lost in their memories of one another.

"I use to tell her about all the bad days too," Toby admitted a moment later. "About when days seemed to hard to go on. I think somehow, she was the reason I held on for so long; that I held on until you changed everything." Spencer leaned up, placing a soft kiss on his cheek. "I tell her how everything would probably be easier if she was still here," he finished after another moment, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Do you miss her?" Spencer asked softly. "I mean of course you miss her," she corrected herself quickly. "I mean do you think about her often?"

Toby nodded. "I think about her every day," he admitted to her. "But not about the way she's gone, but more of the memories I shared with her. I like to think of the good things about her, about what I loved the most about her."

Spencer nodded. "I like to think of Ali that way," she told him softly, tears welling up in her eyes. "I know she wasn't the best person, but there were times when she was there for me when others weren't."

Toby didn't say anything. He released her hand in order to wrap his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to him. Spencer leaned in, resting her head against them. They stood like that together, both lost in their own thoughts of the loved ones they've lost, for a while.

"This is nice," Spencer said after a moment.

Toby nodded in agreement. "I told you-just being here…it makes me feel like my mother isn't gone. I mean she's gone…but she's always here."

"I'm sure she's looking down at you, proud of the man you've become," Spencer said, looking up to smile at Toby. She turned back towards the gravestone, her lips still curved up in a smile. "You have a loving, wonderful son, Mrs. Cavanaugh," Spencer said. "And every day I feel lucky enough to know him, to be with him and to love him." She felt Toby squeeze her hand. "I would've loved to have met your mom," Spencer said to him quietly.

"I would've loved for you to have too," replied Toby. "I'm sure you guys would've gotten along great. But hey, you're meeting her now, right?"

Spencer nodded. "And I'm glad I am," she said, turning to pull Toby in for a hug. "Thank you for bringing me today," she said to him softly.

Toby kissed the top of her head. "I love you," he murmured to her. "And I'm sure wherever my mom is now, looking down on us, she does too."

They stayed like that for a while, lost in each other, before pulling apart so Toby could place the lilies down on her grave. "I miss you, mom," he whispered as he bent down, tears swelling up in his eyes. Spencer bent down beside him, placing a hand softly on his shoulder, signaling she was there. He reached up, covering her hand with his own as he let a few tears fall from his eyes.

"She's gone, but not forgotten," she told him quietly.

"Gone, but not forgotten," Toby repeated, closing his eyes as he leaned back towards Spencer for support, happy to have her there with him.

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